Ok so like I haven't been updating this blog for 2 weeks and I'm feeling horribly guilty right now >< So today shall (HOPEFULLY) be the rebirth of my blog. Although I'm probably going to be lazy and only update it on weekends now.

Soooo many things to recount. Ok ok baking first. I FOUND A RECIPE FOR MOCHI THAT DOESN'T NEED MICROWAVE Yes I'm incredibly excited for that because I absolutely <3 mochi. Yes someday I'm going to bake that (September holidays are creeping around the corneeer) Another thing I found which I want to make is this green tea mochi cake which looks super good too ^^ Well I love anything that has that  chewy texture so that means ondeh ondeh, tang yuan, mochi and dango :DDDDDDDDD And also green tea is like super duper awesome to me

Talking about September holidays oohhhhh my gosh I totally need to study for EOYs. Right now my aim is to push my physics to 4.0 and keep my chem 4.0 there. Also I'm 79% for english so I should really work hard for that as well. My gosh like other than chinese the rest of my subjects are kind of close to 80% ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh must really work hard and pray he will give me the strength. As for chinese..... well I'll TRYYYYY my best to improve it by 1 grade but that's kinda hard so oh well. There's a chinese cuo wen test on Monday and I so need to go revise the newspaper articles teehee ><

Right now I'm just about finish my Reader's Theatre script and it's coming along pretty nicely. The journey regarding our group's Reader's Theatre is really quite funny. When we first choose our stimuli, we came up with this dream storyline which we eventually got rid off. Then for our next storyline, our teacher said it was ok but we had to think of how to represent a change of scenes. Then 1 week before our draft script was due, we came up with another completely different plot line and our teacher really liked this one so wooohoooooooo. Although I'm somewhat complaining for the sake of complaining that I have to write most of the script by myself because I'm scared that my group mates won't be able to capture the essence that I really had in mind since I more or less came up with the idea. 

SO MANY TESTS NEXT WEEK AHHHH I HAVE TO COMPLAIN >< Like I said I have to revise the newspaper articles and then PHYSICS T.T There's a test and I'm determined to score more than 80% to pull up my grade so I have to really absolutely revise the topics cos I didn't quite get them in class >< Oh well I hope I can do it. Plus there's chem oba which I've sort of gotten the concept of but I still have to remember solubility rules heeeheee. Ok end of complaining.

So today I went out with my relatives to visit my grandma and also eat at this Teochew restaurant. The restaurant was in this cool, relatively secluded area and there were only about 6 tables in it >< Anyway my uncle ordered this set meal and like all set meals it was sort of annoying having to sit there and wait 5 minutes for the next dish to appear. 

We had a cold dish, sharks fin, veggies, steamed pomfret, suckling pig, fried rice, dessert and goose that my aunt took away instead since we couldn't finish everything >< The cold dish was pretty good because of the chicken and the spring rolls but the jellyfish was kind of weird ._. The sharks fin was like good also although you can't help but feel a little guilty especially when I take geog and I read about the cruel fate of sharks who get their fins cut off but oh well it was pretty nice. The pomfret was really good and so were the mushrooms like omnomnom soooo sooooooooooft. The veggies were like ugh because there was broccoli but in the end I ate some of it along with carrots, mushies and sliced abalone. Again the mushroom was super good and soaked up a ton of gravy which made it more awesome. The suckling pig was really succulent and juicy although I didn't quite like the skin which was fried to a crisp but the meat was really tender and the seasoning that was rubbed over was pretty savoury. The fried rice was good with the gravy from the veggies and anyway I love rice so omnomnonom. Finally the dessert was this yam purée with pumpkin and while I admit it actually tasted not bad the texture and look were super unappealing that in the end I didn't touch it.

So that sums up lunch. Afterwards since it was still early my mum and I went to the shopping centre and I got my jeans :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Yesh I love them so much everything about them is awesome the feeling is just indescribable >< Yay I can wear them to my friend's concert next week WOOOOHOOOOOOO also I got a belt because I want to start wearing long pants to school and I realise with a belt it looks much better. Although it was quite funny because one I got the belt we asked the salespeople to help trim the belt and they ended up cutting off about 10 cm from the belt >< My gosh I so need to put on weight.

At the moment I'm currently on some awful losing streak in my game and I'm trying with success thanks to God not to explode and rage because it's really not worth it at the end of the day if everyone is all sour. Oh well I hope the losing streak goes away >< 

So yay today everything more or less worked out and I'm quite happy again although I'm still sorta giddy and reeling from the shock and intensity of everything that happened today. Since all is well and good and happy, I shall now move on the better stuff of today.

I went to the supermarket to get my brownie mix and chocolate chip cookie mix for my slutty brownies but NUUUUUU there was only brownie mix. The chocolate chip turned out to be chocolate chip muffin ._. But on a side note I FOUND CAKE FLOUR AND BREAD FLOUR yes yes that made me super happy. In the end I guess I'll just bake the remaining butter cookie mixture for concert next week ><

Also for dinner my mum and I went to this Japanese restaurant and the food was super gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood. I had beef ramen with spring onions and my mum got this super good beef rice bowl which I ordered the previous time. Also I finally got to have my MATCHA MILK SHAKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it was super good. Yes yes I feel more pleased now but I must never forget that all this is possible due to God's grace.

So for my work that I have to do I must make sure to finalise SS essay edits and also prepare for Chinese yu wen kao cha ahhhhhhhhh ><

Perhaps once again there is hope. Oh thank you God for all that you've done 

Today was just plain awful  I don't even know where to begin. When the day started things were just really awkward and I didn't even know how to approach him so I just hid in the project room and slept for awhile until more people came.

For today's celebrations it was pretty cool and all and our whole class went to the JC side and whatnot. After the somewhat cool heli-cam shot, our class went to the canteen to queue up for food while I went with a small group of friends to buy cotton candy. As we nommed our food and happily went into the sports hall to "lepak", I noticed as he came somewhat later when it was nearly time for everyone to gather and watch the remaining events. Although we both exchanged awkward glances it was pretty clear that there was this invisible barrier which prevented any of us from doing anything. And yet all this while I hoped that things would remain passive and stay the way they were with God's help and that I could change in time.

Yet when I came home, all I got was a rude shock. To cut things short, he cut our friendship off just like that in one Facebook message. At that moment I was simply lost for words. After the ordeal yesterday, it felt like we might still be friends again but something would forever remain lost in the abyss of nothingness. It was as if there was still hope of redemption even though things would never be the exact same again. And yet here I am now with a dear friend going further away into the distance and it hurts so bad. It hurts when I think of how I have let him down and it hurts even more when I know what he thought of me. It feels as if one of the foundations of my precious world is collapsing right before my eyes and I struggle frantically to try to mend it but to no avail. I don't even know what I can do right now as I feel the gap increasing with each moment spent doing nothing. We were such good friends and while I might do my best to make peace with him as soon as possible, I no longer feel qualified to do such a thing anymore.   It feels as though both of us are so close yet so far apart and I feel absolutely awful about this whole matter.  I just hope that over this long weekend and with God's grace, we can tide through this and become stronger. As for now, I feel completely drained and exhausted and I just don't know what to do anymore. 

This blog is going to be my dedication to life and shall and will mark the beginning of a new life which I shall strive towards. 

In all that I do, I pray that God will guide me and give me the strength to be a better person and change for myself and others. I hope that as I progress, I will be able to be more connected to Him and let other people feel the miracle that is Him.

With this blog, I am going to celebrate everything worth celebrating in my life. I have set this goal for myself and I shall try my greatest to work towards this goal of revamping myself completely. (Well not quite)

Also, I will exhibit my "high" side and spam this with my doodles or any recipe I find out there that is worth a try.

On a side note I might use this for homework

I want to thank my two very good friends who have been the inspiration for this blog and with them in mind, I shall do my utmost to update this whenever I can.

Once more, I pray to God that he will help me through this period and bless me with the conviction I need to tide this through.
Amen.